Today, I learned about a couple who, upon the death of their only son, quite their lucrative jobs, sold everything they could not just carry and struck out to travel the world. They are spending several months on each continent and maintain a blog and podcast about their experiences. They admit that they are running away from their past life, that it was too painful to just stay put and try to "move on."
In some ways, we are all running from the pain and memories that haunt us after the loss of a child, even an adult child. Some run toward and some run away. It all depends on your perspective. We run away from facing old memories, from having to deal with long-faced, albeit well-meaning friends, from old expectations and new. We run toward new self-awareness, toward adventures that can at least momentarily take up the band width of the ache, toward a transformation that can occur. Just be careful of the alligators such as spending sprees and addictions. In the end, you are left with meaningless stuff and a debilitated body and mind.
All of this is a delicate balance, with each person determining his/her own course along the path. We are running marathons here. Let's consider that analogy. Whereas the athlete spends weeks preparing for the competition, it was suddenly thrust into our laps but we have been preparing our entire lives through events and people who have shaped us. While we run, we join a community of people who also have the same purpose. Sometimes running in tandem, we connect for a while, then leave the temporary comfort to continue at our own pace. Along the way, we pass many venues and sights but our purpose keeps us focused. Still, in the periphery, they are there, silent witnesses to our passage. We grasp water and refreshment at stations, offered by those who give our bodies nutrition and our wills a boost. The street is lined with well-wishers, festooned with signs that we adopt as our own. The "wall," the cramps, the hill, the momentary challenges that sometimes make us question our goal are subdued and we press on. Finally, the finish line beckons and we collapse just beyond.
This race has no real end, just as the athlete always has to run another race and the artist must create a new painting or sculpture. It is an organic process.
Running to or away. Where are you running today?
In some ways, we are all running from the pain and memories that haunt us after the loss of a child, even an adult child. Some run toward and some run away. It all depends on your perspective. We run away from facing old memories, from having to deal with long-faced, albeit well-meaning friends, from old expectations and new. We run toward new self-awareness, toward adventures that can at least momentarily take up the band width of the ache, toward a transformation that can occur. Just be careful of the alligators such as spending sprees and addictions. In the end, you are left with meaningless stuff and a debilitated body and mind.
All of this is a delicate balance, with each person determining his/her own course along the path. We are running marathons here. Let's consider that analogy. Whereas the athlete spends weeks preparing for the competition, it was suddenly thrust into our laps but we have been preparing our entire lives through events and people who have shaped us. While we run, we join a community of people who also have the same purpose. Sometimes running in tandem, we connect for a while, then leave the temporary comfort to continue at our own pace. Along the way, we pass many venues and sights but our purpose keeps us focused. Still, in the periphery, they are there, silent witnesses to our passage. We grasp water and refreshment at stations, offered by those who give our bodies nutrition and our wills a boost. The street is lined with well-wishers, festooned with signs that we adopt as our own. The "wall," the cramps, the hill, the momentary challenges that sometimes make us question our goal are subdued and we press on. Finally, the finish line beckons and we collapse just beyond.
This race has no real end, just as the athlete always has to run another race and the artist must create a new painting or sculpture. It is an organic process.
Running to or away. Where are you running today?
No comments:
Post a Comment